The Patron Saint of Juvenile Delinquents

Everyone who’s grown up Catholic has a few stories to share, long or short. The good folks at The Citron Review were good enough to publish one of my really short ones:


Mrs. Dever sees their faces but can’t remember what to call them. They all look alike. They all look bored. They all look drugged. They all look through the Bible for the names of saints and prophets they’ll take when done with her course and confirmed by the Bishop as members of the Catholic Church. Mrs. Dever lights up during class in the church basement.

"...the Bishop looks mighty in his Mitre..."

“…the Bishop looks mighty in his Mitre…”

Darren Ford has lice. Harry Brooks got dropped from swimming and everybody knows the swim team takes anyone. Vera Davis is dying to visit her brother at college and doesn’t understand why. Rhonda Watts hopes she’s a nympho, because there’s lots of money in porn and she’s sick of being a poor small-town girl.

Mary Magdalene. Was she a saint?
Can I use my given name?
Does it have to be a saint?
Why don’t we hear more about the prophet Malachi?
Was Jeremiah a saint?
Jeremiah was a bullfrog.
What about Jesus? Was He a saint?

Visit The Citron Review and read it all.


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