Ryan Rejects Trump Endorsement

Soars in polls

Still opposes policies that would help ordinary Americans

Still the best Eddie Munster look-alike on either side of the congressional aisle

House Speaker Paul Ryan (R-WI) yesterday refused to accept the endorsement of Republican presidential nominee Donald J. Trump, saying he’d rather not sacrifice his own presidential prospects on that candidate’s altar of bigotry, ignorance and general disenfranchisement.*

“We would prefer to use our own altar of bigotry, ignorance and general disenfranchisement inpaul-ryan promoting the Speaker’s brand down the road,” a spokesman for Ryan said.

Ryan, who insists on protecting the time he gets to spend with his own family (for example, benefiting from taxpayer funded visits from Washington to Wisconsin every weekend that Congress is in session) opposes the rights of ordinary Americans to enjoy family time.

Ryan’s budget proposals seek deep spending cuts, including for child care subsidies and other policies that help poorer families and working single mothers. In general his policy prescriptions would impose the kind of work requirements on low wage earners that limit the amount of time they can spend at home.

While Ryan enjoys a job that allows him to be at home with his children, many of the lowest earning Americans survive without paid sick leave, including maternity and paternity leave, holidays, and annual leave.

And, because he loves his family so much, he has decided to spare them the ugly reality of a Trump endorsement, choosing instead to reject it.

*Some of the above is more fiction than fact. But as with the work of all right-minded novelists, the entirety conspires toward truth nonetheless.

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