What if W. Mitt Romney is nominated as the Republican presidential candidate in 2016? And what if Sarah Palin joins the race? What if Mittens chooses Palin as his running mate? I give you their chit-chat:
Palin: Who hijacked the term ‘Feminist’? A cackle of radicals who want to crucify other women with whom they disagree.
M: I went to a number of women’s groups and said, “Can you help us find folks,” and they brought us whole binders full of women.
P: Polls are for strippers and cross-country skiers.
M: I’m also unemployed. I’m not concerned about the very poor.
P: But obviously, we’ve got to stand with our North Korean allies.
M: I like firing people.
P: I love that smell of the emissions!
M: Corporations are people.
P: We believe that the best of America is in these small towns that we get to visit, and in these wonderful little pockets of what I call the real America.
M: I have some great friends who are Nascar team owners.
P: He who warned, uh, the British that they weren’t gonna be takin’ away our arms, uh, by ringing those bells, and um, makin’ sure as he’s riding his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that we were going to be sure and we were going to be free, and we were going to be armed.
M: I’m not familiar precisely with what I said, but I’ll stand by what I said, whatever it was.
P: I didn’t really had a good answer, as so often. But then somebody sent me the other day, Isaiah 49:16, and you need to go home and look it up. Before you look it up, I’ll tell you what it says though. It says, hey, if it was good enough for God, scribbling on the palm of his hand, it’s good enough for me, for us. He says, in that passage, ‘I wrote your name on the palm of my hand to remember you,’ and I’m like, ‘Okay, I’m in good company.’
M: I think the best answer is as little as possible.
P: That issue…that I don’t read, or that I’m not informed, it’s one of those questions where I like to turn that around and ask the reporters, ‘Why would it be that there is that perception that I don’t read?’
M: There are 47 percent who are dependent upon government, who believe that they are victims, who believe the government has a responsibility to care for them, who believe that they are entitled to health care, to food, to housing, to you name it.
P: Go back to what our founders and our founding documents meant — they’re quite clear — that we would create law based on the God of the bible and the Ten Commandments.
M: I’ll never convince them they should take personal responsibility and care for their lives.
P: Peaceful Muslims, please refudiate.
M: I’m learning to say ‘y’all’ and I like grits. Strange things are happening to me.
P: Mama grizzly.
M: I’ll tell you what, ten-thousand bucks… $10,000 bet?
P: Look! Russia!