So, Dick Cheney wants to publish another book. Lucky us. To be published in September (when else?), the book aims to make the case that President Obama has “Abandoned a decades-long tradition of American global leadership.” To save you the trouble of reading it, I’ve compiled some advance reviews here.

“Full of good ideas for any presidency. Including my own!” –G.W.Bush

“…spiteful!” –Anon

“…hilarious!” -Charles Manson                                                        “Creepy!” -Marilyn Manson

 “Wait… where was Dick Cheney the night we got OBL?” –J.Biden

“Terrifying!” –OBL

“Reading this book made me feel dirty all over.” –Lynne Cheney

“This brave book sheds new light on what I like to call the ‘unknown unknowns’.” –Donald R.

“Laugh out loud FUNNY!” –Condi Rice

“He don’t know Dick.” -Jon Stewart

 “Flattering.” –Barack Obama

“I couldn’t put it down. For days and days and days on end, they wouldn’t let me put it down.” –Former Gitmo detainee

“Apocalyptic.” –Moses                “Jeez…” –God                     “God…” –Jesus

“Better than my Killing Jesus.” –Bill O’Reilly

“Nigga, please!” –Chris Rock, ODB

“This book is like most of the men in Washington who refused to date me: soft hands, limp handshake, pale skin, pudgy middle.” -Dana Perino, Washington “media person”

REVIEW: I didn’t read the book. I never will. Common sense tells me this is one book to judge by its cover. I find myself in rare agreement with Dick’s former boss, President George W. Bush, when I consider Cheney’s stated aim. The book, we are told, contends that President Obama has “Abandoned a decades-long tradition of American global leadership.” According to Threshold Editions, the Simon & Schuster imprint set to publish it, Cheney’s book claims that Obama has “significantly diminished” U.S. power at a time of a “rapidly growing” terrorist threat.

Dick’s former boss, meanwhile, has demonstrated far better grace in his dealings with the man elected to replace him. Take this thoughtful piece from Cass Sunstein in BloombergView:

No one doubts that, on some important questions, Bush is in profound disagreement with his successor. Nonetheless, he has maintained silence. In March (2014), he explained, “I don’t think it’s good for the country to have a former president undermine a current president; I think it’s bad for the presidency for that matter.”

It serves as a reminder that no matter what malignant power Cheney wielded behind the scene, he was not the president. He never rose to presidential status. The people wouldn’t have him, and he was too cowardly to run for it. Instead Dick Cheney diminishes himself with every attempt he makes at diminishing the highest office of the Republic.

There is something cold, unpatriotic, and selfish in Dick Cheney’s forthcoming smear effort.

TAGS: Book Review, Charles Manson, Chris Rock,Comedy, Dick Cheney,George Bush, humor,John Stewart, Marilyn Manson, Obama,politics, satire, writing