Assistant Secretary Crickshaw wants to tweet. His request (order) reaches us in Electronic Media via the staff aides in the front office, setting in motion a whole series of actions that repeat the actions of the day before and the day before that, all the way back to the day we first tweeted, which nobody knows exactly when that was.

First, we initiate the Interagency Process to gather the Briefing Checklist, the Scene Setter, the Draft Remarks and all other documents related to the event the assistant secretary wants to have us tweet for him about. We then consult the lead office (in this case, Youth Rights/Worldwide Engagement/ Sports Organizations/Diplomacy for Underserved Males—YR/WE/SO/DUM) for an analysis of the pros and cons of tweeting. The analysis is strictly pro forma, of course: we have our orders. So we will complete the process per the standard operating procedure, right down to tweeting at the exact second of the precise minute of the chosen hour, no sooner and no later, as presented in the Tweet Strategy Timeline, which we are about to draft.

While YR/WE/SO/DUM completes the analysis, there is time for a quick cup of coffee and lemon pound cake from one of the many Starbucks within acceptable range (7 minutes) of the office. 

Read Full Story (Posted to The Foreign Service Journal January 2, 2014)

One thought on “THIS IS HOW WE TWEET

  1. Reader Feedback: Gotta tell you that your story was so true to (unspoken) life, it stands as one of the best things I have ever read in the afsa journal. Even enjoyed the “final product” tweets splashing about as graphics. Loved the disclaimer at the end, too, describing the author. I was worried up to that point, but could then exhale knowing the story elements really are ribald caricatures, just slapstick burlesque, nothing at all like real life. Thanks for the effort! I feel less “numb from a lifetime of criticism” after reading it —


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