Kush for FBI

It’s little wonder the hunt for a new FBI Director seems to have ground to a halt.

The country’s next top cop will be subservient to a criminal, whose charge sheet includes housing discrimination in NYC, fraud related to an eponymous university, bribery of a federal judge, tax and immigration violations, and sexual predation.

This Whitman’s Sampler of criminal acts doesn’t even get into current allegations of obstructing an investigation into collusion with a foreign entity to win the presidency. After all, they’re only allegations.

We’ve seen a number of names come and go, from former campaign hangers-on and generally sleazy dudes like Rudy Giuliani and Chris Christie, to more DC-seasoned if not more palatable figures such as Senator John Cornyn (‘It does not affect your daily life very much if your neighbor marries a box turtle. But that does not mean it is right… Now you must raise your children up in a world where that union of man and box turtle is on the same legal footing as man and wife.’ ) and former Senator Joseph Lieberman.

This laundry list of dirty names might well be tactical. What better way to burnish the righteousness of the eventual pick than by shooting down high-flying names like so much skeet before arriving at the eventual nominee?

To my mind, the choice has been obvious all along.

The only name that makes sense for FBI Director is Jared Kushner. Hasn’t he already sworn and proven full allegiance to the president? Hasn’t he already demonstrated that most definitive quality of a classic lawman—utter silence? Isn’t he single-handedly capable of handling our Mexico, China, and Middle East policy, resolving a festering opioid addiction problem, and reinventing all of government? Another plus: He seems to have an inside track of some kind into dealing with the Russians. This could prove expedient for bringing the current investigation to a quick and satisfying close.

Don’t expect the nomination very soon. The average wait time for the FBI choice is about 10 weeks and we’ve yet to cross the three week mark. It’s possible we’ll see many more names come and go before the dust settles. For entertainment value, I hope they throw Dave Grohl into the mix.


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