Letter from College

Dear Dad,

Thank you for your letter dated __. I read it with great admiration for your prose styling, humor, and attention to detail. I especially enjoyed all the advice you shared. Please send more advice.

I’ve been going to class every day and engaging with my professors actively and responsibly. I think some of them enjoy my wit and I’m sure others do not.

The cafeteria has been exceptional. I enjoy piling my plate high with mashed potatoes and cheese, putting all the pickles I can eat on my pizza, and especially making tall sandwiches wrapped in napkins before going into my pocket as I depart the commons. This makes me popular in the evenings when I have enough to share with my roommates and others doing their laundry across the hall. I don’t know how I’d have survived without that pro tip. Like I said, more advice please.

My favorite building here is the library. I spend hours there exploring the collection of memoirs, occasional papers, and comic books. The librarian is helpful most of the time but refuses to bring me any coffee. Can you believe that?

Did I tell you we have a cat? Yes. My roommate missed his cat, named Calico, so we found a litter and traded one of my classic sandwiches for it. I was hungry that night but it was worth it. Calico is frisky and stalks the mice our RA says we don’t have in the dorm.

I’m looking forward to your visit. You know you’re welcome any time and it will be fun to show you around, introduce you to all my friends, and eat lunch with you in the cafeteria. Unless you want to take all of us out for lunch at Rocco’s Tacos—that place is the best! You don’t have to come alone, you can come with amma and my brother who I’m sure will enjoy your unlimited musings on the drive down. Maybe you can record some of these and send me an audio file?

Well, I sure do miss your spirited whimsy. Speaking of which, I miss my summer of whimsy and wonder where the time went. Since you  probably know, as a man of limitless speculation, please write it down in your next letter which I am anxiously awaiting.

Your admiring son,

Cheese.

PS—Please send an air freshener and another roll of stamps.

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