Ben East Books

Absentee Ballot

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by

Ben East
in ,

img_9514Here I sit, brokenhearted
Came to vote but only farted.*

How the air is thickening!
Oh, the stink is sickening!

I have to choose between these two?
I’m on the throne just let me poo!

I’ll never again vote absentee
While squatting here, in luxury.

Don’s soft wipe will be mine soon
That hair of his just makes me swoon.

Note: Before there was DTTP there was KitchenTalkWithDonaldTrump

*Alert, I am plagiarizing and pretty much ruining a classic graffiti item from the third stall at CCSU’s Elihu Burritt Library. Sorry guys.

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Comments

3 responses to “Absentee Ballot”

  1. realthog Avatar
    realthog

    I will use this as evidence to my wife that the graffiti in question is not a product of my sordid adolescent imagination, but was, as it were, an objet trouvee.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  2. Ben Avatar
    Ben

    toilet humor is always funny, but this one takes the cake. imagine, a broken heart over that kind of disappointment. makes me laugh every time!

    Like

    Reply
    1. realthog Avatar
      realthog

      Oh, no, it’s poignant, it is. I first saw the graffiti during my Scottish childhood — and in Scotland the rhyme makes perfect self-deprecatory sense.

      A waste of a penny? Wheesht, no wonder the writer was brokenhearted!

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