No Joking, Dum-Dum

This morning I received the bad news in the form of an email signed, “Sincerely Yours, Dum-Dums.” The disappointment? Dum-Dums lollipops Save Wraps Program is coming to an end! Now, I’m no distinguished and orderly candy wrapper saver (I’m no distinguished or organized anything), but the message did send my already quarantined spirits spiraling ever … Continue reading No Joking, Dum-Dum

Absentee Ballot

Here I sit, brokenhearted Came to vote but only farted.* How the air is thickening! Oh, the stink is sickening! I have to choose between these two? I'm on the throne just let me poo! I'll never again vote absentee While squatting here, in luxury. Don's soft wipe will be mine soon That hair of his … Continue reading Absentee Ballot