Author: Ben East
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Like Cher
Cherish. Having the quality of a pop diva. Cherish. Cherish. Not quite a chair. More of a stool, really. Cherish. Cherish. An artificial flavor just short of cherry flavored. Cherish. Cherish. To lead, sort-of. Cherish. WordPress prompt word of the day: Cherish.
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What’s for Dinner? Butter.
The whole house smells like butter. And onions. Butter and onions. As well it should: our five-person assembly line this morning put together one full gross of pierogi. That’s 144 butter-filled, butter-fried dumplings. With 12 for dinner, that’s a dozen pierogi apiece. So what, exactly, is a pierogi? Depends who you ask. If you ask…
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Peace & Light on Christmas Eve
The word PEACE stretches out in silver letters beneath the lighted garland on our mantel. Tomorrow we’ll build a fire there and friends will gather round for warmth and cheer. The shortest day of the year has come and gone, & our side of the world now turns toward light. Will the light show our…
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Tactical Pens vs. Writers’ Block
As the growing scarcity of my trusty silver Parker Jotters drives up the price, I’ve been eyeing these tactical pens to replace them. For those who’ve used them—a few questions: Which do you like best? Does the ballpoint provide smooth action across the page? Does the ink hold fast, or does it smudge and blur?…
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This American Carnage
Just under a year ago we were promised an end to American carnage. Now, today, the wealth of the 99% is being ripped from our homes and handed blithely to those who already have so much. So how does the inaugural phrase “This American carnage stops right here and stops right now,” relate to signing…
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Vs. Newspeak
Vulnerable. Entitlement. Diversity. Transgender. Fetus. Evidence-based. Science-based. Susceptible. Privilege. Variety. Trans. Unborn child. Data-driven. Science-centered. Stay flexible. Be prepared.* (*wanted: substitutes for suspect terms—diplomacy, equality, literacy, peace, stability, investigation, special counsel, democratic, dissent. Facts).
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Little Green Men
I’m about done reading Little Green Men, Christopher Buckley’s satiric romp through an imaginary government bureaucracy established in 1947 to promulgate UFO hysteria in America. MJ-12’s mission: keep the Russians off-balance during the Cold War & boost support for Defense spending against unknown threats by means of increasingly intrusive forms of alien-related phenomena. What begins as mere sightings…
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Good Will Toward All
Of all the Christmas albums out there, my favorite by far is the Vince Guaraldi Trio’s A Charlie Brown Christmas. And of all the attempts to push back on the commercialization of Christmas, my favorite comes from Linus. While the other kids seem to have all the moral fiber of a Fox News host, young…
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Adventures in Punctuation
Important for boys: Digging up the backyard to make a pond, building makeshift shelters out of branches, then hiding inside to spot the wildlife attracted to the pond. Not important for boys: Punctuation. Or did the publisher assume that some kid’s sister would get ahold of The Boy’s Book of Adventure and refuse to let…
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Stubborn 2nd Amendment
The law that guarantees the right to bear arms pegs that right to a well regulated Militia. Patchworks AMERICA’S NEXT GUN MASSACRE IS INEVITABLE. Unless one government intern can make a miracle of his odd jobs in Washington, DC. Gabriel Dunne’s federal internship has him tracking gun violence in America. But before he can start, his…
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