Category: Nonfiction
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Twinkle for Gents—A Close Shave
I ask around about haircuts. Authoritative Mumbai sources say: Twinkle for Gents. Five weeks into our stay, haircuts are essential. But am I to test Twinkle for Gents? I take a 2 and 3 across the sides and top. My sons buzz down to 4 and 5. Not haircuts, so much as a few quick strokes…
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Always
Puzzled that I’d spend my time doing this, people will ask, ‘How long have you been writing?’ Part accusation, part sincere inquiry, it deserves consideration. The truest answer I have—and it’s not a wise guy answer—is always. I say ‘truest’ because of the stages leading up to my present output: two published novels; two mid-grade…
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Another One Bites the Dust
All in one Mumbai day we enjoyed these musical interludes. At Malabar Hill we toured the Hanging Garden (The Cure, Pornography, 1982). It doesn’t hang so much as stand upon a series of reservoirs that hold—depending on who you ask—30 or 90 or 300 million gallons of water. The garden’s benches and clocks and topiary fill the paths,…
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Elevatorwala
Mumbai has a wallah for everything, no task too big or small. Outside my 14th-story flat, one of four elevatorwalas pushes the button that takes us to the street and back again. The other night we ate our first dinner at a Parsi restaurant called—this is all one word—Sodabottleopenerwala. It’s a chain. Derived in part…
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Early Monsoon
We always knew the monsoon would greet our arrival in Mumbai this Thursday. We never expected heavy rains to be part of our departure from DC. Yesterday the area received 4 inches of rain, equal to about 40 days of wet weather for this time of year for DC. July commonly sees 3.75″. What better…
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Maximum City
We are neither here nor there. The carpets are up and the curios down. The boys are packed and shipped off south for a week with Naniji. A week from tomorrow the packers arrive. They’ll invade for 3 or 4 days to box up several categories of shipment: 700 lbs of air freight; 7k lbs…
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Rhymes with Fake Gnus
1. Fake shoes. Also called flip-flops. 2. Fake brews. Non-alcoholic beer. Avoid at all cost. 3. Fake dues. No payment required. 4. Fake flues. Actually, you feel quite good but call in sick. 5. Fake ruse. This is the same thing as telling the truth. 6. Fake rues. Actually, you don’t care. 7. Fake poos. Better smelling than the real thing. 8. Fake…
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Diplomatic Training
U.S. diplomat Ben East revisits his old training grounds with his sons, eight and ten.
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Sex Ed: Anne Frank in Africa
Without telling us the punchlines, Dutch researchers announced this week the discovery of four dirty jokes papered over in Anne Frank’s diary. I taught the diary as a Peace Corps Volunteer in Malawi two decades ago, curious from the start why it was on the curriculum. My students faced a lifetime of grinding poverty, endemic…
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Answer Coming Soon
When I feel ornery about the state of world affairs, I turn to Dan Whitman for a cure. Because he gifted me a large stack of his books, he doesn’t always know this. Whitman’s essays reflect on wide-ranging issues for the foreign affairs professional. They cut across decades (mostly post World War II) and continents…
Ben East Books 