Swagger Stick

Not long ago, selecting deodorant came with a sense of... not humiliation, exactly. Not quite shame. Mild embarrassment? Here, in the grocery store, under fluorescent lights and warbling muzak, I admitted to an indefatigable human failing: my stinky pits. No more. Thanks to Old Spice, all dressed up for modern times, I need not hide … Continue reading Swagger Stick

Nats Park Blues

What’s this discomfort I feel? What is it about watching the Nats play at home this year? Why do I squirm in my chair? Delta. It’s those coveted front-row seats behind home plate, the ones reserved for the rich and well-connected, the splurgers and the lucky. This year, however, gratitude replaces envy. I’d much rather … Continue reading Nats Park Blues

My Thoughts on Uranus

I'll admit it---I'm a bureaucrat. A federal bureaucrat. I'm not some fancy ad-man in a pinstripe suit on Madison Avenue. Still, I know a thing or two about language. And when I see lousy wordplay in advertising, it bothers me. Take this insurance ad, targeted at the dreary, browbeaten federal workforce (it's on a bus stop … Continue reading My Thoughts on Uranus