Ben East Books

Tag: Hair

  • My Barber, My Chiropractor

    My Barber, My Chiropractor

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    by

    Ben East
    in

    my barber is an artist with blades and attachments that buzz exquisitely around my head. He uses at least three different scissors snipping with casual abandon to create a snowstorm of clippings before clearing my face in a single stroke. He runs his blades across my eyebrows and whistles out my nose—only the Turkish barber…

  • No Joking, Dum-Dum

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    by

    Ben East
    in , , ,

    This morning I received the bad news in the form of an email signed, “Sincerely Yours, Dum-Dums.” The disappointment? Dum-Dums lollipops Save Wraps Program is coming to an end! Now, I’m no distinguished and orderly candy wrapper saver (I’m no distinguished or organized anything), but the message did send my already quarantined spirits spiraling ever…

  • Absentee Ballot

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    by

    Ben East
    in ,

    Here I sit, brokenhearted Came to vote but only farted.* How the air is thickening! Oh, the stink is sickening! I have to choose between these two? I’m on the throne just let me poo! I’ll never again vote absentee While squatting here, in luxury. Don’s soft wipe will be mine soon That hair of his…