The Glorious Loyalty Oath Crusade

I want loyalty, I need loyalty No writing has influenced my work more than Joseph Heller's Catch-22. Not the Bible. Not the Constitution. Not even The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, which is a pretty great book and should be thrown full force at anyone who tries to ban it. I wrote my first novel, Two … Continue reading The Glorious Loyalty Oath Crusade

Coming Out Ahead

I just bought a dozen Cadbury Creme Eggs at nine cents apiece. $0.09! Now, to Malta! "I don't buy eggs from Malta," he confessed... "I buy them in Sicily at one cent apiece and transfer them to Malta secretly at four and a half cents apiece in order to get the price of eggs up … Continue reading Coming Out Ahead

One Year on the Beat

When it comes to terrorism, the enemy can't kill us if our institutions kill us first.

A year ago this week I put Jeff Mutton on the beat. Assigned to keep America’s diplomats safe in Saudi Arabia, he proved a tough match for tyrants as well as terrorists. He endured vacuous conversations during diplomatic soirees and survived quack psychiatry at the hands of State Department shrinks. He introduced us to a … Continue reading One Year on the Beat

Mission Accomplished

War Novels for the War on Terror Thirteen years ago Sunday former President George Bush declared an end to major combat operations in Iraq. Over his head a massive banner proclaimed, “Mission Accomplished.” What followed this publicity stunt—he arrived on an aircraft carrier off the coast of California riding in a Navy jet—were years of insurgency … Continue reading Mission Accomplished

Nice Bump for Two Pumps

Robert Bruce Cormack penned a few kind thoughts on Two Pumps for the Body Man. Read more about his hilarious satire You Can Lead a Horse to Water (But You Can't Make It Scuba Dive). Ben East has created a wonderfully wacky consular bash in a place called The Kingdom, a nightmarish place straight out of Catch-22 where bureaucrats … Continue reading Nice Bump for Two Pumps

Banned Reading

Did you know that Popular Online Vendor X bans "distasteful content" from honest reviews of the very books they'd be happy to sell you? That's right: reviews of books full of obscenities sold on their site won't be posted if those reviews contain the same profane, immoral, or distasteful content as the product they want you to buy. I tried for two weeks to … Continue reading Banned Reading

Review–You Can Lead a Horse to Water

(But You Can't Make It Scuba Dive) Queue the circus music when Sam, Muller, and Max join Max’s father Otis and mother Ruby in The Rec Room of Sound, Otis’s Internet radio broadcast, to consume pot-laced brownies and interview Bisquick the Mynah bird best known for biting nipples and repeating the phrase “Gimme some titty action”. As … Continue reading Review–You Can Lead a Horse to Water