Ben East Books

Category: Humor?

  • HTML for Fake News

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    Ben East
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    Recent changes to Wordpress eliminated the center justify button. This is more inconvenience than improvement, but it did lead to one decent discovery. Bloggers can still keep the left and right margins clean with a little change to the HTML code. It’s easy: 1. Select the text you want to justify. 2. Hit the left justify button. 3. Switch…

  • D. W. Hitman

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    Ben East
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    Warning: the reading police, disguised as the media, have infiltrated the State Department. Based on a stroll through the Harry Truman building cafeteria, one journalist for The Atlantic pretends to understand our present condition: “As the staffer and I walked among the tables and chairs, people with badges chatted over coffee; one was reading his Kindle.” Forgive me for…

  • The Run

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    Ben East
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    My son’s offering his services as my campaign manager. More than the trappings of power, I think the third grader’s hooked on creating slogans. ‘Want the Best? Vote the Beast.’ Beast is a nickname I picked up in Jr. High. It was my sister’s fault. A clever P.E. teacher pegged her first initial against her…

  • Calling Mr. Robot

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    Ben East
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    If the leadership really wants to improve our healthcare insurance, they should start with a phone call to Blue Cross Blue Shield. In 12 seconds or less they’ll learn that legislating insurance can only make America great again if it kills the robots taking our calls. I’m sorry, I did not understand your response. ‘That’s because you’re a…

  • Writing Prompts, Spellcheck, and Academic Advice

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    Ben East
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    There are many, many reasons not to read Flash Fiction Funny while riding public transportation. The first and perhaps best reason is Taylor Mali’s The the Impotence of Proofreading, which will leave you bent over double and wheezing for breath, the workaday passengers all around contemplating the emergency brake at the back of the train.…

  • The Literary Excellence, II

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    Ben East
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    My nominations for The Stephen T. Colbert Award for The Literary Excellence continue. Writers, friends, and fellow bureaucrats looking for the most eloquent way to describe their mood this past week should look no further than Sterling Johnson’s masterpiece of contemporary literature: English as a Second F*cking Language. This gem, in the shape of Strunk & White’s classic treatise…

  • Street Food with Lou Stoole

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    Ben East
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    I don’t watch Anthony Bourdain’s television programs but I understand the attraction behind them. Here’s a guy traveling the world to sample bizarre cuisine, satisfying the viewer’s appetite for the exotic and the edible. His narrative is wry, crisp, and authoritative. His locations distant to the point of being surreal. His choices of food—practically supernatural. But what happens when…

  • Avery Dick Disappoints

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    Ben East
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    I had high hopes for the Avery Dick series. Diplomatic Security (DS) Agents have some of the most colorful stories in the Foreign Service trade. They walk like cops. They talk like cops. They’re security professionals steeped the gritty detail of protective service. Their beat is peculiar: sniff out bombs and throw up barricades; investigate…

  • UN-der Woman

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    Ben East
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    Last month the high-flying poobas of the world donned their UNGA-wear and boarded private jets to attend the United Nations General Assembly. Oh! How they did clog the streets of Gotham in pursuit of… What exactly is it they pursued beyond a display of wealth and power? And now the UN—it’s very name suggestive of nothingness, the opposite…

  • Sad Sock Story

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    Ben East
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    This story tells itself. A first grader gives his socks real personality. And attitude.