Category: Politics
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Eddie Eagle vs Joe Camel
I was perusing NRATV—yes, the NRA broadcasts 24 hours a day!—to choose my favorite ‘freedom and firearm-related programming’ for the afternoon. Did I want to hear Dan Bongino crack the code and expose ‘the real agenda‘ behind March for Our Lives? Or would I rather get to know why Dana Loesch* thinks, in her simpleton’s binary,…
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March
This month we march. This month, we show our strength by taking to the streets. This month we demand action—not thoughts, not prayers, not false heroes—we demand action to prevent another mass murder by gunfire. You will know the brave ones as we march unarmed. And you will know the cowards by their callous, pandering,…
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Gun Talk—COEXIST
This morning I wrote my representatives in Congress*, remembering the words of a strident conservative who came to my book talk looking to bristle with me over guns. ‘Call them by their first name,’ he said. ‘Reminds ’em who they work for.’ He told me at the outset, ‘I’m a shade right of Scalia,’ and noted…
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Those Funny Russian Trolls
Call them what you will—trolls, comment monkeys, sock-puppets—no-one should doubt that the hundreds of employees of the ‘Internet Research Agency’ had a sense of humor. From the Mueller indictment: On or about May 29, 2016, Defendants and their co-conspirators, through an ORGANIZATION-controlled social media account, arranged for a real U.S. person to stand in front of…
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White House Valentines
How will the denizens of 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. mark Cupid’s feast tomorrow? If recent reporting is any indication, their ideas on romance suggest there’ll be no bon-bons and necklaces going around. Chokers, perhaps. Or these gift ideas: For all the president’s men, including the partisan patsies in Congress, the gift will be the sleeveless white…
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Stock Recovery Plan
So what if the stock market is on a rollercoaster this week? Grab some cheap thrills and laugh off your losses with a 15% savings on Patchworks, a hilarious office satire about the ordinary bureaucrats working hard for you in Washington DC. Price too steep? Check it out at the Fairfax County Public Library! Can one…
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I Want the Truth!
Watching the special prosecutor drama unfold is like watching A Few Good Men. We’re at the part now where Tom Cruise explains his winning strategy against Jack Nicholson. Here’s how the lowly Navy Lieutenant plans to bring down a decorated Marine Colonel: Kaffee: He eats breakfast 300 yards away from 4000 Cubans that are trained…
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Swamp Talk
Why do the murders keep happening? What are we doing to stop them? Can one earnest intern make a difference, when the government he serves keeps shutting itself down? Join the whole Patchworks crew for a bite at The Fed Buffet. Great Falls Library 9830 Georgetown Pike, Great Falls, VA Saturday Feb 3rd, 1:30-4:00 America’s next gun…
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Rock Paper Scissors Shutdown
Gun violence isn’t the only systemic failure of the federal government to be yodeled at with doomed futility in Patchworks. Furloughs and government shutdowns also pepper a story full of recurring small deaths. There comes a point—moments before the plot’s big turn—when two sympathetic colleagues must choose: which of them will take a round of furloughs instead of…
Ben East Books 