Author: Ben East
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This Is Why We Write
Why We Write We write not to be read. We write not because we have something to say, but because something must be said and needs our attention. We write to put down the tracks of our thought and, through this process, clarify our intent, to give form and understanding to our own inscrutable intuition.…
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Those Funny Russian Trolls
Call them what you will—trolls, comment monkeys, sock-puppets—no-one should doubt that the hundreds of employees of the ‘Internet Research Agency’ had a sense of humor. From the Mueller indictment: On or about May 29, 2016, Defendants and their co-conspirators, through an ORGANIZATION-controlled social media account, arranged for a real U.S. person to stand in front of…
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We Have Seen and We Have Said
Last month we were treated to countless rounds of being talked down to by law enforcement from Broward County, Florida after yet another completely avoidable massacre at the hands of an American citizen exercising his right to bear an AR-15 semi-automatic assault rifle. ‘If you see something, say something,’ Broward County Sheriff Scott Israel said…
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Deception for My Valentine
I have a naughty streak on Valentines. My favorite transgression, 15 years ago, duped my old lady into having dinner with me. That was just before she became my old lady. Valentines fell on Friday that year. I was pretty eager to reserve her company, but didn’t want to wreck a good friendship over something…
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White House Valentines
How will the denizens of 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. mark Cupid’s feast tomorrow? If recent reporting is any indication, their ideas on romance suggest there’ll be no bon-bons and necklaces going around. Chokers, perhaps. Or these gift ideas: For all the president’s men, including the partisan patsies in Congress, the gift will be the sleeveless white…
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May the Bird of Paradise Rest in Your Armpit
The man with the 70’s hangover—big stache, wide lapels, swooping toupee—assigned to teach my fifth grade class regularly heaped this wish upon us: ‘May the bird of paradise rest in your armpit.’ What this meant, and why it should happen to us, was never made clear. It was only, mysteriously, repeated. This was a 1982-83,…
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Olympic Glory
The Olympics are here! Skeleton and luge. The bobsled. Downhill skiing and of course the mighty ski jump. It just doesn’t get any faster or more exciting than this! I like the control in biathlon, and gawk with envy as the snowboarders throw themselves off the half-pipe. I respect the athleticism and grace of the…
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This Just In
Political news website Washington Press just fills me with a sense of urgency. I don’t know why, they just do. Maybe its the 26 out of 29 headlines on the current front page that use the word ‘just’. But what happens in the minutes and hours after these headlines go up? I just don’t know.
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Stock Recovery Plan
So what if the stock market is on a rollercoaster this week? Grab some cheap thrills and laugh off your losses with a 15% savings on Patchworks, a hilarious office satire about the ordinary bureaucrats working hard for you in Washington DC. Price too steep? Check it out at the Fairfax County Public Library! Can one…
Ben East Books 